Losing Yourself to The Game: Dragon Age Inquisition
by Jazzy Shepard
Summary: (Insert me story) Lethea is sitting down and minding her own business when she gets thrown into the game. Her magic is raw and different, her body is melded into an elven form, and she is very much confused. With the help of her companions she may be able to find a way home, that is, if there is a way home. She just has one problem to take care of... The Breach.
1. Chapter 1

**A Woman Without Hope**

Oh God my head... Oh my hand... The feeling of a thousand fiery hot needles pressing into my hand and head forced me to open my eyes. Where in the hell was I?

My vision was a bit blurry forcing me to try and find my glasses. My hands rattled as I moved to try and find them. My hands were bound in a board with chains. What the hell? My heart bound faster in my chest forcing me to panic. The door opened and two figured walked in. The light from a few torches lit the area. Torches? Why torches? Where are the lights? Where are..

"Tell me why we shouldn't kill you now?" A woman spoke coming so near to my face I could smell the blood and dirt on her. I wanted to gag. Her black hair cut short but a crown made of a single braid around her head. Her brown eyes so piercing and fierce they seemed able to cut through anything.

"The conclave is destroyed, everyone who attended is dead, Except for you!" Her voice was strong yet wavered a bit. My head was still clouded but her words seemed familiar. I wish I could place a finger on it. I kept my mouth shut for fear of throwing up on this woman. Who knows what she could do to me.

"Explain this." she growled out reaching down and grabbing my left wrist so hard it hurt. I whimpered softly before a blast of hot fire laced up my arm and my hand crackled to life. The green light cleared my head. There is no way. I must be dreaming.

"It's an anchor." I spoke at first. My twangy accent harsh and unfitting with those around me. I looked up at Cassandra my mind fighting it's way into being stable. I looked at my hand and twisted it, "It's so cool to see it in front of me." I mused to myself looking at it.

"What do you mean, an anchor?" Cassandra spoke with a bit more fury to her words. She watched me coo at the marking and scowled.

"Well, an anchor keeps a boat from being swept away by the ocean." I couldn't help but tease her. It was one of the best dreams I have had in awhile.

"You little!" Cassandra reached for my throat. She simply held her fingers there. I screamed out of shock more than anything. She didn't squeeze and her eyes wavered a bit when my eyes flashed in fear.

Leliana moved forward and grabbed Cassandra on the shoulder, "We need her Cassandra, strange or not." both women turned around and looked at me crossing their arms.

"Do you remember what happened?" Leliana spoke softly. Her voice would have been comforting if not for the thinly veiled strength underneath. I looked up and shrugged a little.

"I was at home, my first day off in months. I had decided to make a new character in my video game. Once I finished making the character I..." Pain danced behind my eyes as I remembered.

"It was storming outside, I guess a bolt of lightning knocked the power out. My television had green electricity waving out of it. A hand grabbed me. Spiders.. so many spiders. A woman..." I turned my head and dry heaved. A soldier standing near took a step back. I prayed inside of my head that this was just a fucked up nightmare.

I looked at the women's faces. Their features perfectly sharp. Their eyes focused. In dreams faces were warped. Oh no...

"She speaks in tongues, maybe her fever has returned?" Leliana spoke.

"We have no time, I will take her to the rift. Go to the camp." Cassandra spoke strongly. Leliana threw me one last look before going through the door.

Cassandra lifted me to my feet. Her grip was almost too strong, but there was no way of me getting to my feet on my own. I looked at my arm. It was way too small for her hand. I was a small girl but I was not anorexic.

"What's happening?" I mumbled more to myself and Cassandra bound my hands with rope.

"It will be easier to show you."

I looked down at my hands and legs as we walked. They were so small compared to Cassandra. I looked to frail so small... Once the doors opened and the wind hit my hair something felt off. I reached up to the buzzed side that I had just gotten done. The small braid on that side tucked behind my ear.. My elven ear!?

My legs felt weak. Cassandra's grip tightened a little as she walked me through the camp. No wonder she lifted me so easily. I wasn't even human. THe air smelt so much cleaner and the light burned just a little as we stepped away from the doors. The breach was sitting in the sky. The sight of it in front of made my middle drop clear to my knees. Please be a dream.

"We call it the Breach. It's a massive rift into the world of demons that grows larger with each passing hour. It is not the only rift, simply the largest. All were caused by the explosion at the conclave. Unless we act the breach may grow until it swallows the world."

The Breach gave off a bright light and in turn so did my hand. The fire came back stronger. It felt as if someone had taken a dagger and was slowly sawing away at my skin to create a hole. I grit my teeth and hissed. I would have fallen if Cassandra hadn't been holding me up this entire time.

"The Breach is expanding and so is your mark. It is killing you. It may be the key to stopping this. But there isn't much time." she spoke searching my eyes. Trying to determine if I was truly a threat or an ally.

"I just want to go home. If that means helping in any way possible I will." I spoke softly.

"Where is your home?" She asked in a moment of curiosity.

"Another world... another time." I spoke softly looking at my feet.

Cassandra gently pulled me on. It was easy to keep up with her long strides. These small legs were graceful and seemed built for speed. It was a strangely nice change.

"They have already decided your guilt, they need it." Cassandra spoke on but I had already memorized her speech. Trying different characters out made the beginning so predictable. This time; however, was the worst of them all.

I had only looked up from our walk when the first build up again searing across my body and splitting the seams of my skin apart inch by inch. I felt sweat build along my back and face.

"The pulses are coming faster now, come on." she spoke dragging me to my feet and pushing me forward, more worried than angry. Once we reached the bridge I grit my teeth in preparation for what was to come. Once we reached the middle Cassandra caught the look on my face, "What is wron..."

A blast of green and the sound of falling bricks. I closed my eyes and felt my body tumble. I only opened them when I was sure it was over. A creature appeared out of the ground in front of us. Cassandra drew her sword. I swallowed the lump in my throat. Wake up, wake up, wake up!

"A demon, stay back!" Cassandra screamed before waving her sword over her head. She moved the demon away from me in a form of protection. I wanted to call her back but my scream was torn away by the wind as a second demon appeared. Damn, the demons were way uglier in person.

I looked behind me for the moment of truth. A staff... fuck me.

I gripped the thing. I expected it to be heavy but it seemed light to the touch and lifted as easily as a feather. I felt the breath of the sky, the cracking of energy around me, and the whispers of spirits around me. They giggled and touched my hair, caressing my skin. I almost forgot about the demon... almost.

The pain from it's claws digging into my arm was fierce. I held the staff in both hands clumsily. Though it was light, it was still large and new. I swung with all my might as if I were playing baseball. The loud crack of the staff hitting the demon made Cassandra turn her head around. Whatever magic was supposed to come out, slithered along the ground besides the demon in electrifying streaks.

"A staff, a fucking staff. You pull me from my world..." _CRACK_ "You turn me into an elf." _CRACK_ "And you make me a worthless mage!" My arms grew tired of trying to bash the demon's head in and I let out a scream bashing the staff onto the ground. A bolt of lightning struck the demon and it roared before dissipating into black smoke, "FUCK YOU WHOEVER YOU ARE!" I screamed at the sky. I dropped the staff and fell to my knees.

"You are a mage?" Cassandra asked walking forward eyeing me after I lifted my head. Her eyes were confused. She didn't know what to think.

"No, In my world there is no magic. Don't ask me to try that thing again. I don't even know how I got it to work." I spoke. I felt broken and defeated. I am not cut out for this hero shit. Just wake up! I pushed the palms of my hands to my eyes.

"Pick up your staff. I will not be able to protect you." she turned on her heel and went to talking.

"Did you not hear me!?" I screamed after her.

"We have no time to lose. If you are from another world as you say you are, this is your only chance to find your way home. Or you can die in our world." Her words were harsh but truthful. I nodded and wrapped my fingers around the staff. It felt right and wrong at the same time. Cassandra nodded in approval before leading us along the path. To my first test.

We heard the battle long before we arrived. I was growing weary and even a little terrified. I knew my presence and stray from the original dialogue was changing the story around me by the simple fact that Cassandra had grown less weary yet more questionative so early on. What would happen with the others?

"Here they are. We must lend a hand." Cassandra spoke before rushing the enemies. I placed my hands on the staff in a way I had found comfortable and had twisted and thrown it side to side allowing small pulses of magic to form crystals that I was throwing at the enemies. I looked over to see Solas frowning at my clumsy use. My nerves made my hands shake as I dropped the staff. A demon slid it's red eyes over to me and lunged at my unprotected form.

'You are from another place...' a spirit whispered kissing at my ears, 'You are from another time...'

I lifted my hands to protect my face and a bolt of electricity ran from my fingertips to the demon cracking in its face and forcing it back. It roared and swiped at me. Raw magic from my hands felt right. So much better than forcing it through a splinter of wood. I held out my unmarked hand and willed the electricity to strike again. A ball of fire came from my palm in a rush of energy striking the demon down instead. I looked at my hands before curling the slender fingers into fists.

"Hury!" A hand grabbed at my hurt wrist dragging me forward. I looked up as Solas placed my mark to the Rift. I was prepared for pain but was met with a strange pulling sensation.

Green tendrils coaxed me to jump through. As if the portal was my way home. Voices sang into my ears.

"Don't listen to them, close it!" Solas yelled over the roar of the singing.

"I don't know how!" I screamed yet even as my fear overtook me the simple thought of the Rift closing made it pop out of existence.

I held my hand as it burned. Curling it into a fist and looking up. My limbs were shaking.

"Your magic is unlike I have ever seen." Solas spoke looking over me. I could hear the gentle teasing of Varric to Cassandra behind us, "It has a strange call to it. Different feel."

"M-Maybe the mark?" I stuttered softly willing him to stop the questioning.

"Perhaps, it feels otherworldly."

"She does imply that she is from another world." Cassandra spoke breaking from Varric's teasing.

"Wow, that is impressive." Varric whistled looking at me.

"Hmm, we should discuss this later, for now we have a more pressing issue." Solas spoke and Cassandra nodded.

"Indeed, let us continue." Cassandra and Solas took the lead as Varric stood behind me.

"S'alright, even if you are from another world. It must have magic, right? I mean you use it well. If strange." he said walking besides me.

"Kinda, our magic is different. It's in the way things grow without light or water. How miracles save those who should have died. How it stops us from boarding a plane that will crash. Though in my world they don't believe in it."

Varric nodded, "But you do?" he asked

"It is faint but if you listen for it. It is there." I spoke before reaching to flick an ear. It made me shiver, "I am also human there."

Solas and Cassandra turned around to look at me while Varric whistled again.

"Maker, you are strange." Varric with a smile.

I grinned at him, "At least I ain't short!" I shot back and he mocked pain while placing a hand to his chest.

"You wound me, princess." he joked, winking at me.

I took comfort in Varric. At least something wasn't so serious and deadly here.

* * *

"Someone help me!"

"What is this? Where am I?" The image of me that I remembered ran into the memory. My black hair tousled and green eyes wide in fear. I wore a tank top and a pair of boxers exposing legs that needed a good shave. I looked human, normal.

"You must go and warn them, before it is too late."

"We have an intruder, kill her!" The vision faded and I ground my teeth together.

I looked at my elven limbs again.

"So many questions." Solas mused behind me as Cassandra looked at me with questions in her eyes. None of this was going to be easy to explain.

"In order to seal the rift you must open it and close it properly." Solas spoke breaking the awkward eye contact between Cassandra and I.

Cassandra's posture changed and she looked around, "That means demons, get ready!" she yelled before nodding to me. I lifted my hand and felt the Rift calling to me again. I grit my teeth and held my arm steady. I was not ready for any of this.


	2. Chapter 2

**A Woman Without A Home**

 **(A/N Just noticed the pairing was off and fixed it. Sorry to Solas lovers.)**

I opened my eyes slowly. All I remembered was the bright green light. The pain, the tearing of my skin as I fell onto hard rocks. I sat up quickly. A small elf sat in my room. I wasn't at home. Not at all.

"I-I-I didn't mean... forgive me, I am but a humble servant." She fell to her hands and knees.

"It's alright, hun. I was already half awake anyway." she looked up and muttered about me being a savior before running from the room nearly screaming the words 'AT ONCE'!

I shook my head and got up on wobbly legs. Standing out of bed was fast and swift. My head hurt and the world spun. I bent over the bed and grabbed onto the desk until the world stood still. This damn body would be the death of me. I walked over to what I assumed was what I had to wash myself with. A simple basin filled to the brim with cold yet clean water. I worked at the simple cloth they had dressed me in and stood completely nude.

I traced the small fingers across my body. There should be a scar here from my bike accident. A scar along my foot from surgery, but there were no scars. No reminder of who I was. My skin was smooth and ivory. Limbs long and toned. Muscles everywhere. Muscles I had never know that I had.

My breasts were smaller, my hips were tiny, and those baby feet. I curled my hands into fists wincing in pain before opening my hands. There were four crescent moon openings into each palm of my hands. I looked at how sharp my nails were. Damn, I had to cut them.

Bending over to wash I looked deeply at my face. Two green eyes and long black hair were the only things that seemed familiar to me. My breath caught in my throat before I turned around and simply got dressed. The leather was lined with furry insides keeping my body warm. I appreciated the long neckline that would keep the wind from hitting my throat. I pulled on a pair of gloves and marveled at just how soft they were.

The second the door swung open I flinched at the sound. So many people crying out to me. Whispering to each other even though I seemed able to hear them just fine. A woman hissed to a man about me being the Herald. My ear twitched. A headache was steadily forming behind my eyes. Once I had finally shut the doors to the Chantry behind me, the headache started to dull.

My body was shaking with each step. I could hear the yelling behind the doors. I didn't want to open them. To face those inside. I closed my eyes and wrapped my arms around my now small body willing that I would open my eyes back at home.

"You seem tense." The soft voice of wisdom made me look up at Solas. He peered at me quizzically. Walking around me and looking over me. This was not how it was supposed to be, but then again I wasn't supposed to be here.

"I don't belong here in this world. What they need me to be in there is something I cannot even think of." I replied truthfully waving to the door that barely hid the argument inside.

His intelligent eyes softened a bit but he shook his head, "It matters not now. Who you were then, who you are now... Everything has changed."

"The rules stay the same but the game is always changing." I whispered to myself.

"You are a curious one, I admit. One thing that has me truly intrigued is the fact that you told Varric that you were human... in your world?" Solas hand asked and half stated. I nodded slowly and went to respond when the door to the war room slammed open.

"Oh good, there you are. I just got word that you had woken. Come, we must plan." Cassandra spoke quickly leaving me shaking in the hall with Solas.

"I will take my leave. Another time, perhaps." This time it wasn't a question but a promise. I nodded once more and watched him leave.

Curling my fingers in my small single braid I stepped into the lions pit.

"GUARDS! Bind and prepare the _elf_ for a trial at the Capital." The clerk from before yelled making me flinch. I glared at the poor excuse of a man.

"Disregard that, and leave us." Cassandra spoke coolly and each guard saluted her before leaving. One caught my eye and gave a gentle smile.

"You walk a dangerous line, Seeker." The chantry clerk hissed through his teeth.

"The Breach is _still_ a threat. I will not ignore it." Her voice was a low guttural warning. It sent shivers up my spine.

"I take it that risking my life didn't clear my name?" I asked my irritation making my accent grow thicker. Leliana looked at me trying to hide her smile. I had forgotten that most accents here were exotic and beautiful.

"NO!" "Yes, she is clear!"

I winced and kept from covering my sensitive ears. Damn all of this! I rubbed my temples as they argued. I watched Cassandra slamb the Inquisition book on the table. I watched with a smile curling my lips as the clerk huffed from the room.

"Now we must plan out a training regiment for you." Cassandra spoke looking up from the book. Leliana busied herself with some papers in the corner but had her head tilted slightly, ever listening.

"Oh, goodie. More staffs. I love staffs. Love 'em to bits!" I spoke lightly, but Cassandra frowned at my humor attempt.

"Yes, well. I think we all agree you would be best suited for a different weapon." she said and I nodded eagerly.

"I will teach you with a shield and sword. You will fight as a warrior!" she spoke with a grin making me groan.

Leliana shook her head, "I think it would be best for her to learn the ways of the dagger, Cassandra. She would be able to sheath them to use her magic and pull them easily when her mana is dry."

Cassandra looked to object but I jumped in too quickly, "I agree completly, best idea I've heard in days!"

Leliana nodded with a smile to her lips, "Let's begin outside, shall we?"

* * *

She moved so fast. How was anyone supposed to be able to follow her?

Once again she hit my chest with the dulled dagger, "Dead." she spoke the word so monotone and completely emotionless, yet her eyes danced with thinly veiled mirth.

"Oh, Come on! Jesus!" I huffed out between breaths. My hair was sticking to my neck and my body screamed.

"You have said that name a lot in the past few hours. Is it someone you left back home?" she asked allowing me to take a moment to breath.

"Well yes, sorta, kinda... no. Jesus is the son of God. It would be like a son of your Maker." I explained trying to get a damned grip on the blades. Sweaty palms combined with opening blisters made my grip nearly impossible. Leliana took the moment to slap the flat part of the blade along my outer thigh.

"Holy mother of God!" I screamed out falling to my knees at the pain.

"They will not stop even when you are at your weakest. When they seem to be an ally they may be an enemy. Watch their body, their eyes, and the way they speak to you. One slip of the tongue and you will know to fight seconds before they draw their next breath. You are elven which means you are small enough to be quicker than most. Use it to your advantage." she said twirling her dagger in her hand. A black raven cawed and flew around her head, "However I must retire for the evening. Until tomorrow, Herald." She gave a slight bow and walked off as if the last few hours were nothing.

Dear lord did I need a drink. I knew who to go to.

My body screamed as I stood up and my legs threatened to buckle as I walked to the doors. Once I had finally made it into Haven and to Varric I pointed at the Dwarf, "Bar, now. You are paying." I growled and limped to the tavern.

"And here I thought we wouldn't be getting any quality time." He joked following after me. Even with my longer legs he easily beat me to the door in my hobbled state and opened the door making a grand sweeping motion with his arm, "Princess."

"Oh, my hero." I mocked fluttering my eyelashes.

In minutes we were seated at a table closest to the fire. Eyes burned into us and whispers danced around my ears. I shut my eyes and willed them to go away.

A woman walked up and placed to large glasses full to the brim in front of us, "On the house for the Herald and... her friend."

As she walked away I leaned across the table some, "D'ya hear that?" I poked at one of his arms, "You're my frriend."

"Not even a drop and you are already talking funny." He spoke taking a large swig of his glass and making a face.

"That bad?" I asked looking into the murky liquid of my own.

"The way you talk?" he asked forcing me to shoot a dirty look his way, "Oh, you mean the ale. It isn't half bad. But it is strong."

I tipped it back and took three long swigs before the taste hit me. I dropped the glass and turned my face trying to muffle my coughing. This body was not as used to drinking as my old college party self, "Goddamn that is strong." I mumbled between face twitches. Varric simply sat back and laughed. Once he calmed down he looked at me holding the tankard in his hands.

"I have a few questions for you, Princess." he spoke gently and looked at me as if his words would offend me.

"Yeah, everyone else as well. What do you want to know?" I asked looking into the tankard in my hands.

"You said you were human before." he spoke and a few people quieted around us.

"Yeah, back home I am as human as they come. Round ears and all."

"Why do you think you are elven here?"

My breath hitched in my throat, "I don't want you to think that I am crazy." I shivered at the thought. If I was stuck here might as well be free and not behind the bars of a cage.

"I won't, I have heard stranger." Varric promised looking at me intently.

Call me crazy but I trusted the dwarf with all my heart. Maybe it was the history he had inside of the video games. The joking between him and Hawke I loved so much. The smile he offered when everyone else was frustrated or angry.

"In my world this is just a story." I refused to say game. This was no longer a game to me, "In the story the reader may make the Herald in any shape or form that they choose. I always prefered Elven since they are the most skilled in archery. I always prefered rogues to any other in the g... story. Quicker, smarter, and bows and arrows. Who doesn't like those. This face was the face I made before the storm hit. I believe I have been pulled into it by something." I looked at him watching his eyes move to the fire.

"There are other stories, like Torchwood or Doctor Who. It brings things like tares to the attention, much like the breach in your sky. Sometimes aliens fall through the tares. Sometimes other humans through time and space. Sometimes people can see through them in dreams. Making a story. Maybe someone saw into your world before I fell into it." I babbled to try and ease the tension.

"It sounds completely crazy." Varric said and looked up with a great smile, "I love it. The great Herald from another world falling into ours when we most need her!" He slammed a hand on the table bring the attention of others to us, "If that doesn't sound like the Makers work I do not know what will."

I rolled my eyes and smiled, "You were always my favorite Varric. It's an honor to finally meet you in person."

He made a bowing motion with his hands, "I always like to please the fans." He winked at me before putting his hands together, "Now onto something less serious, You look like shit."

"Thanks Varric, I always knew I could count on you."

* * *

Every muscle in my body screamed for redemption. The fire inside of my body that refused to let go. I closed my eyes a moment enjoying the breeze.

The area was a nice green forest. The calm, sweet air made me shudder in enjoyment. It was different here. Cleaner, better even. Taking a deep breath made the ache in my body disappear.

"It seems that you take to the forest well." I opened my eyes to see Solas standing there. His arms were crossed behind his back and he looked to the sky. The orange hue was like a never ending battle to become night or day.

"When I told you I was too tired for magic tonight, I didn't mean visit me in my dreams."

His eyes rolled to look at me. Surprise tinging his face, "You know this is a dream?"

"Well yeah, you enjoy the Fade best. I shouldn't be surprised." I said sitting up.

He shook his head and looked at me fully, "So many questions to ask."

"So little time." I teased laying back down. Crossing my arms behind my head I hummed and enjoied the night air, "Give me this night of peace and I will answer everything."

Without answer Solas fled, leaving me to enjoy the peace of the forest on my own. I dozed a little between breezes. Tonight would be my first night of rest in a few days. Hell, maybe weeks.

A smile touched my face at the thought of Varric. He seemed to swallow my story well. He had even begged to begin writing it himself. My heart tugged a little and I curled into a ball on my side. I missed my apartment, my friends, the way my dog would wag his tail... My family.

Tears fell from my nose as I cried.

 _I just want to go home._


	3. Chapter 3

**A Woman Without a Name**

 **(A/N I am moving sorry for the late update.)**

Two weeks. Two weeks of fighting by day and dreaming by night. Some days I would spend time with Varric in the tavern trading stories, and others would be with Cassandra musing over the plans for a visit to The Hinterlands. Leliana gave Cassandra the okay for my ability to hold my own in a fight. Solas conceded that my magic would do. It was enough for Cassandra to start packing for the trip in three days time.

At first everyone looked at me strange once I told my story. My advisors making it a point for my inner circle to keep it a secret between us. Those in the tavern had heard the conversation between Varric and me forcing Josephine to do some damage control. Lucky for her those involved were to confused to understand little more than the fact that I was from another world. Leliana was able to make me being a human in my world little more than rumor. I wasn't happy. The longer I was here the more I lost who I was. Once again Varric was my knight in shining armor.

"My head is spinning." My voice was dull and flat. The door to the small house I was in closed. I could tell just who it was by his steps alone. Varric, the only person here who kept my feet on the ground.

He walked around me and looked at the desk. Pages upon pages of my memories were scattered around both good and bad. I had given up on drawing faces but instead tried to capture every detail of my family by memory alone. I was torn at how little I remembered.

"Chuckles, says you haven't been in the fade for a few nights now. We leave for The Hinterlands at first light. You need some sleep." His eyes looked worried he placed a hand on my arm just below the elbow.

"I can't sleep, not yet. There are so many things to write down. My first tooth, my 9th birthday, the day my sister and brother swore in..." I closed my eyes and rubbed my temples.

"You can't write your entire life down. It would take months." He spoke and I tore my arm from his touch.

"Watch me, I can and I will. I will stay up every night. Write when we lull. I have to remember." Even now I yawned at my lack of sleep.

"Don't push yourself. This is becoming too much for you."

"I didn't ask for this." I hissed pointing at Varric, "I didn't ask for any of this. Training until I bleed, throwing magic and being looked down upon for it, and these god damned ears!" My fist slammed on the desk making Varric jump slightly, "I forget, just a little more each day. Do you remember my dog's name? Because I sure as hell don't."

"Midnight, and he had those droopy ears that you loved so much. You thought the name funny because his fur was all white and Oh, Maker, the shedding." Varric's voice took on a higher octave in the end as he mocked me.

I looked up at him in awe. Hope blossoming in my chest. He patted my hand with his own and smiled gently.

"Don't worry, Princess. You have a tendency to gab. I have a tendency to listen. We'll make it. Just do me a favor and get some sleep, please?" Varric walked from the room without another word leaving me speechless. I sat down on the bed and stared at the candlelight for a long time. Long enough that black spots danced behind my eyes.

I didn't have the heart to blow it out. I would go through an entire candle every night. No one said a word. Not that it would do much good anyway. After waking up the second time I learned that I had developed a strange fear of the dark. I never feared it before.

I laid on the bed crossing my hands on my middle and curling my legs to the side. Closing my eyes I fell into a strangely peaceful sleep.

* * *

Solas walked through the greenery with grace. His steps being made with little effort and his body seeming to keep still with each step. It was almost like he was gliding over the ground. He spoke before I even registered where I was.

"Welcome back, Herald."

"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean.. I just wanted to sleep." I stammered out as he looked over at me.

"The more you dream in it the easier it will be to simply slip in. This place is strange, vegetation different. We are in your dream, not mine."

I looked around to see he was right. I was standing on a great rock. A place just a mile down from my childhood home. A lake would be another mile to the left if I wanted to go. Cacti grew in strange places along with long grass and tall one else for miles and miles. Being here brought me peace.

"How can I dream of a place from my world and it be here in the fade?" I asked softly reaching for a bluebell that grew to my right. I picked it easily and placed it behind my ear and shivered. I was still unused to how sensitive they were.

"That is the 'million dollar question' as you have put it so many times." Solas answered calmly watching me relax.

"You said a thing!" I squealed happily pointing at him. He sighed and shook his head. Looking at much like a parent to a child, "I don't think you realise how much hearing things like that help, remind me that I am still human."

Solas' face became dark a frown forming on his face. He turned on his heel and left leaving me to my favorite spot. I sighed and rubbed my hands together. I kept saying the wrong things.

* * *

"You can't ride a horse?!" Cassandra nearly yelled at me forcing me to squint and pull back.

"It's not like we have we can spare at the moment, Cassandra." Leliana pointed out making me groan.

"Nothing like a little family time, right Seeker?" Varric piped up from behind us.

"Maker, why did you demand that he comes with us?" Cassandra asked me her eyes narrowed.

"Because he is my friend. The only one of any of you that doesn't pretend that I am from here."

Cassandra rolled her eyes and walked on saying little more.

I looked at Varric, "What is it... By the tits of Andraste."

"There are many more to learn." Varric promised making me laugh. It felt good to laugh.

* * *

"So it occurs to me that I know little about you. I don't even know your name." Cassandra spoke up gaining the attentions of Varric and Solas. Solas pulled along the horse that our items were packed on in the back of the party. Cassandra slowed her pace to come to my left and Varric was a few steps behind us listening.

Realization gripped me and my veins froze in fear, "Everyone has been calling me prisoner, herald, or princess. I never thought twice about a name." My mind fought with itself to pull up a name. It was like trying to pull dirt from mud. Millions of names flooded my mind but I didn't know which one was mine.

"What was it?" Cassandra asked from my left.

"I don't know." I replied honestly.

"You don't know?" Varric asked from just a little behind us.

My heart raced as my eyes misted over, "No, I don't. Oh dear lord...

 _I don't have a name."_


	4. Chapter 4

**A Woman Who Kills**

 **(A/N I am moving sorry for the late update.)**

Dodge. Stab. Fire. Step back. Dodge. Slash. Lightning.

Fighting real people was completely different. Warm blood splashed over my hands making me quiver and lose my resolve.

"Help her!" Cassandra yelled making me turn my head. A man holding a blade in two hands swung down at me. Fear took over my limbs. I took a step back and my ankle gave out. I lifted a hand. A green light splashed around me making my body hum with it's magic. The swords bite into my palm felt like a tiny paper cut.

A bolt appeared in the man's chest forcing him to fall forward onto me. He gasped for breath as blood frothed from his nose and bubbled down his chin. He was drowning in his own blood. I screamed out and tried to pull my legs from under him.

"Please." he begged me. Eyes that were, seconds ago, filled with hate and anger now filled to the brim with unspilled tears. I bought a blade to his throat and swallowed hard before pulling it across the soft flesh. The sound of tearing skin was something I knew would haunt me forever. Blood spilt onto my hands and down my armor covering it in a sticky warmth.

Two hands grabbed me under the armpits and pulled me from under the man, "Don't turn your back to them." Cassandra spoke sternly and continued to her post. Two men appeared with their long shields making me groan. I fucking hated these guys. My legs tried to buck as I ran at one of them. He pulled his shield back to swing his sword and I brought my right hand back. Throwing with all of my strength a ball of fire exploded onto his chest. Acting as I had been taught I rolled under his arm using my hands to steady myself at the end and jumping back onto my feet. He dropped his shield and sword before running around screaming.

The sound of metal hitting metal forced me to look up. Cassandra was fighting the other man. I had a good shot. Electricity crackled along my palms before I Put both of them to the ground. Lightning raced to the man's legs before traveling up his body and forcing him to convulse. I went to run at him and cut him from the back as my body was filled with white hot pain. All control of my body was lost as I began to convulse. The unmistakable taste of magic was normal, but the attack from it was not.

My nerves lit on fire as I tried desperately to see who had struck me. My body felt weak and drained. Another burst of green magic showered over me dulling the pain and re-energizing my limbs. A mage in the corner of the field hidden by a few trees stood with her hand waving over a book. Another shot of electricity raced to me. I rolled to the left. Fumbling a bit and landing on my side. The electricity narrowly missed me and hit the man with the shield again. I felt a bit of pity for him. That shit hurt.

"Solas! By the trees!"

As I stood readying myself to attack the mage, Solas ran to my side holding his staff with enough grace that it made me jealous. He held it steadily with two hands before shooting ice from each side. I put the wrists of both of my hands together and reached up to the sky. A large bolt of lightning came down and struck the mage. In her delirious state Solas' attacks rang true and she was dead soon after.

Varric ran up to me holding his crossbow ready to shoot. I ducked down as he shot. The templar that I had crisped up fell to the ground with a single bolt in his eye. We looked over to Cassandra who dug her sword out of the other dead templar's chest.

"We won?" I asked and Solas nodded, "Good." I said before bending over and emptying my stomach.

Solas took a step back but I felt Varric slap my back, "Let it all out. You did good."

"If almost getting yourself killed is good, I must be a master." Cassandra nearly snarled as she walked over.

I wiped my mouth and looked up at her, "Shut it, Seeker. I know you care." Her eyes gave the hint of a smile. Something almost looking like pride shown in them.

"Now let's talk to this sister lady." I said attempting to clean my hands.

"Mother Giselle." Solas quietly reminded me.

"Right, right. Her, yeah." Something hung in my hair. I pulled it out slowly. Was that flesh? Oh God it was flesh. I bent over and began retracting.

* * *

The fire crackled softly and filled the room with warmth and a bit of orange light. So many words raced through my mind. Solas wanted to leave for Haven immediately, but both Cassandra and I voted to stay and help the poor people here. Varric took me to a nice place to hunt for their supper for the night. Just a bit of electricity and a bolt and we had a fresh kill. We brought enough to last for a few days. Until the war was taken care of.

For the tenth time that night I turned on my side unable to sleep. The wooden bed creaked under me. The straw was a step up from a hard bed roll, but I missed the comfort of my old bed. I could hear the soft snoring of Cassandra coupled with the grumbling of Varric talking in his sleep. Solas had even almost calculated breathing. It was a sound I had grown used to after a few days of travel. During that time it was easy to fall asleep. Painful feet and tired limbs made for deep sleep that seemed to make the walking even more unbearable the days after.

Finally I sat up in bed looking around. Varric and Cassandra didn't move from their positions but Solas' head turned ever so slightly. His haunting gaze following my movements. I stood from the bed and put a pair of fur lined armor over my leggings. They were a little tighter after washing them but warm all the same. I pulled on my top and buttoned the fabric up to my chin before slipping on a cloak that dragged the floor. Boots slipped easily onto my tiny feet and I was outside. The wind stung my cheeks. Cold finding cracks in my armor, making me shiver slightly.

The few that were still awake hovered near fires built around the settlement. Some poking and prodding, others shivering near the warmth. I closed my eyes against the guilt. How many people could fit into one of these little houses. We had room. Share a bed, roll out a blanket on the floor.

I walked away from the light up a small path to one of our camps just a bit away. A few inquisition guards looked up at me from their own fire but said nothing. I had walked even farther splashing in the water and getting my cloak wet. A few droplets found their way into my boots and splashed my legs, but I didn't stop.

A Blood Lotus plant touched my leg. I looked at the plant that looked so much like a cat tail and picked it rolling it between my fingers softly. I took care not to break the stem. Knowing these would be useful later I had begun to pick them making a neat little bouquet in my hands.

"Is this what you do in your world? Braving sickness to pick some herbs?" Solas' voice was soft but unexpected enough that I jumped grasping the Lotus tightly enough that one popped in my hands. The deep red seeds flew in the wind that picked up around us.

"I just needed to think." I replied dropping the ruined plant and looking for more. The water sloshed around even more as Solas begun to hunt with me. He was quiet and worked almost as diligently as I was to gather all he could. The silence was nice to be around. Just the even breathing between the two of us and the occasional shiver from me.

"I killed my first person today. Looked me right in the eye as I slit his throat." I spoke without realizing it. The words formed and left my mouth without so much as a thought. The admittance of my murder made me tear up. His last word pleading for me to end his suffering.

"He almost killed you." Solas spoke from his position. I looked over at him. A lanky form bent over picking another Lotus. Graceful fingers plucking deep enough to pull the whole plant without marring it. A strong form and graceful movements made it easy to see that he was not normal.

"I slit his throat, got his blood on me. I scorched someone else. Leaving them to die a painful death. I was going to open another guys belly and let his guts spill out. In my world I had never even slapped someone before. This... this is the thing that scars people." I shivered as the cold begun to bite into my damp clothes. Tears threatened to spill out. I went to move my glasses... right... I didn't need those here.

Solas kept quiet. It was almost better than talking to Varric. Therapeutic in a sense. I spoke what was on my mind as if I were turning it over in my head. I didn't know if he was there to protect me or simply watch me, but he followed me regardless. We kept silent for a while longer picking the small pond dry.

"Thank you, I think it's time to go back now." The wind was picking up throwing my wet cloak around and splashing water droplets on the pieces of armor that had managed to stay dry.

"Yes, it is."

We walked back dropping the Lotus off at a table. A nearby guard begun to bind it together and put it in a small chest. Once we entered the small home Solas helped me peal off the wet clothes and hang them to try for a second time. Varric looked up at us as I moved to drop my underpants leaving me in underwear and a binding at my chest.

"Woh, princess. I thought we would wait until the second date." he whispered. Solas rolled his eyes and got into bed. Cassandra turned in her sleep but continued to snore.

"Why wait, Varric. I am already wet." I teased before slipping back under a thin blanket welcoming warmth to my cold limbs.

Varric gave a soft chuckle before turning back over to sleep. I felt a little more comfort. The cracking fire, a bit of snoring, and even breathing. It had become my lullaby and I fell into the darkness of sleep willingly with it.


	5. Chapter 5

**A Woman Named**

"Oh man, I just love mages. Don't you. Love 'em to bits." I grunted throwing another spell into the cave of mages. A female mage threw up her barrier making me yell in frustration. Solas was breaking a bit of a sweat as well. He was trying to keep the others protected as spell after spell flew at us. I ducked as a shard of ice whizzed past my head.

"You are a mage, Princess." Varric pointed out while grunting as he notched another bolt.

My hands flew to my two daggers as he spoke. I wasn't only a mage.

I drew both blades and ran at a nearby enemy. The blades gleamed in the light. The man's eyes looked confused for a moment. A blast of red appeared to my right forcing me into a duck and roll. Everything that Leliana had taught me flew into affect. My right hand opened steadying myself as my feet caught ground again. My fingers curled over the hilt once more and gripped tightly as I closed the distance. The mage threw an ice spell at me. My left hand flew up and shot a fireball evaporating the magic into a mist.

He lifted his hand trying to cast a barrier spell but my blades met at his chest. I pulled both to either side opening a wound between his ribs. He grasped at the wound and stared at me. A flash of blue was coming for me from the right. I jumped and spun bringing my arms in. My size was becoming an increasing advantage. My left foot kicked out and hit the mans chin so hard I felt a crunch. He fell and didn't move again. I turned to my next target. A woman casting barriers around her friends.

I whistled to get her attention. The second she turned her head a bolt flew through one temple and out the other. I closed my eyes for a moment and looked away. Guilt racked my chest. _This isn't real, it's just a game._ Yeah right. Blood cooled over my fingers as I moved to the last target. Cassandra screamed out forcing me to look behind myself. Solas was one on one with another mage keeping her at bay. Varric still stood at the mouth of the cave putting another bolt into his crossbow. Casandra was currently on her knee as a mage lifted her staff to smack the warrior across the face.

I felt something new pulse into my magic. It wasn't hot like fire or energetic as electricity. It was warm and almost fuzzy. Without thinking I lifted a hand and showered Cassandra in a green barrier. The sound of tearing flesh made it's way to me as she lifted from her knee and ran her sword through the middle of the mage. As the mage fell she nodded to me once.

Solas dealt his enemy a swift blow to the head before in casing her in ice. The ice shattered leaving the bloody remains of flesh strewn around. Something hot touched my back. At first it was just warm but the pain registered quickly. The smell of burnt leather and hair reached my nose making realization dawn on me. I had turned my back again.

I wanted to turn around. I wanted to kill the son of a bitch. I wanted to do so much, but my knees gave out forcing me to fall. My arms refused to move.

I could hear gurgling and the thump of someone falling. Cool hands started winding down my back pushing and prodding.

"Can you hear me? Stay with me." Solas spoke in a cool gentle voice as the magic worked it's way into my system and stitched broken skin.

"C'mon Princess get up... Stop laying around."

"Makers Breath, You shouldn't have worried about me!"

 _Heart rate dropping. Blood pressure is dropping rapidly. Lethea! Lethea stay with us!_

"Stay with us, Princess!"

 _Clear! Still no pulse. Charging... Clear!_

"Hold on, just hold on! Maker, Please!"

 _Her eyes are fluttering... Heart rate continuing normally... Steady breathing..._

 ** _Darkness..._**

* * *

I gasped for breath and sat up straight. My back ached and my body screamed. A small woman looked up at me and moved from a table to sit next to me. Slowly I laid back down trying not to hurt the rest of my body.

"How are you feeling?" she asked holding a tube of green liquid. She gently reached behind my head and lifted it up. A firework of colors exploded behind my eyes. A hiss broke free from my lips. She took the moment to tip the tube back. The liquid was strangely sweet with a bitter after taste, "Mother Giselle should know that you are awake." she said softly. I reached up and took her wrist in my hand.

"Mother Giselle? Does that mean I am back a Haven?" I asked and nearly winced at how weak my voice came out.

"Well, yes. Herald. You were dying there. It seems the magic here affects you differently. Mother Giselle was already half way here by the time they had gotten your fever down. They decided to attempt to move you after you stopped breathing three times. Once we had gotten you here you seemed to stabilize just well." she left the room without any time for me to ask any more questions. Why do I scare people?

"We found that the closer to the breach we had gotten you, the less you stopped breathing." Solas' voice came from a far corner of the room. He walked over and looked over me, "You intrigue me, Lethea." My ears twitched and my head spun to look at him.

"That... t-that's my..."

"You whispered it many times in your sleep. I tried to come to you in the fade, but you seemed to be somewhere else entirely. Cold without magic, Lights so bright they rival the sun. Many men in masks. Electricity pulsing through your body."

"I was in a hospital. I guess could see it every time I was dying. Everything is so strange and fucked." I placed my hands to my head.

"Cassandra wants to know when you awaken. We move for Val Royeaux once Mother Giselle deems you fit." he left the room quietly leaving me alone to my thoughts.

The door opened once again. Mother Giselle strode in with a small smile on her face, "I hope you are feeling much better, Herald."

I had to admit I loved her accent.

She touched my chin and lifted it to see into my eyes. She took a moment and moved her hands down my sides helping me to flip over. I noticed how naked I was. A blush creeped up my cheeks as I realised how very naked I was when Solas was in here. Even that other woman. Giselle thumbed down my back humming softly.

"Your wounds finally heal. It is nice to see." she spoke softly before helping me to stand. It was rather embarrassing to have her help me dress. My hips stung a little and there was no freaking way we could get the breast binding to work. I had to wear a loose cotton shirt and a cloak to help with the pain.

"I still don't understand why the healing spells didn't work." I spoke sliding a pair of boots onto my feet.

"We think it has something to do with the fact that a simple fire spell fryed your skin. It refused to close with magic. We had to scrub it clean and stitch it together. I give it a few more days to fully heal." She moved to clean her hands in a basin nearby.

"Uh, thanks. I think I should make some rounds."

The door slammed behind me as I rushed away. Wind picked up making me shiver but causing the slight burn on my back to sooth. Cassandra, I needed to find Cassandra.

People smiled and bowed as I made my way to the training field. I looked over the training men to try and find Cassandra. Leliana smiled at me from her tent and bowed her head a little. She took in my form and made a motion as if she were holding her cloak closed. I looked down and blushed wrapping my fingers around the fabric to hold my cloak closed. The wind tickled my ears and I reached from the cloak to feel. I closed my eyes and remembered the smell of burnt hair. I could barely grab at the strands of short hair that now hung from my head.

"If you're looking for Cassandra she went to the Chantry to look over the war map again." The low voice made me spin and lift my hands to defend myself. The voice's owner caught one of my wrists as electricity crackled along my fingertips, "Maker, what they said was true. You are a mage."

"Cullen. Oh God, I'm so sorry just a little jumpy after... it's a big... pretty long..." I stammered trying to find the right words. Oh lord he was a good looking man in person.

"It's alright, your story has a lot of conflict." he gave a crooked smile. The wind made his blond hair flutter a little around his strong features. Hazel eyes were so warm and kind it made my knees weak. The small stubble of an unshaved beard gave him a more manly look. His teeth were just perfect. How did you get your teeth to look that white?

"I.. uh... Cassandra needs... Prolly should.." I just couldn't get my words right. My foot caught a large drift of snow and I was facedown. My back screamed as I tried to push myself up.

"Everyone back to your work, nothing to see!... Here." Strong arms wrapped around my shoulders and hips helping me to stand.

"Am I like paper? Why can everyone lift me like I am a doll." I asked feeling something warm drip down my back, "I think I popped a stitch."

Cullen made a face and drew back a hand covered in red, "Come with me." He said while dragging me back to a tent.

"Do I have a choice?" I muttered softly and he shook his head.

"Not really." I laughed softly as he chuckled. The warmth in the tent struck me as odd. There was no fire and only a small hard bed with furs on top.

"Lay here. I will get Mother Giselle or Solas."

"No.. no please, I don't want to see the look on their faces when they see that I popped my stitches on my first day out. I would go crazy stuck in a bed."

He stood there in shock looking at me. I took off my cloak and made a face at the large red spot on it.

"Can, can you just." I tried to pull my shirt off and he stood there watching me.

"I think I should get them." he muttered before opening a flap on the tent.

"Goddamnit Cullen, if I get stuck in a bed for the next week I will blame you. Help me." I felt the growl start in my throat. I didn't want to be stuck alone for too long. I would start to think of my life. My family it was too much. Tears formed in my eyes, "I don't want to think about it anymore, just please."

Cullen seemed uncomfortable almost shifting from foot to foot in his anxiety. He let the flap drop before walking over. He slipped the shirt off slowly.

"Ow.. ow... ow... ehh. Ah!" I bit my tongue as the pain flooded my senses. My shirt dropped to the floor on top of the cloak the red stain even bigger on the cotton fabric.

"Just a few. Not too bad." he mused running hands over my back. I closed my eyes and smiled a little. His hands were nice and strangely smooth. I turned my head to the side. Soft, gentle, and so warm it was nice. Cullen gave a soft breath, but I ignored it relishing in the touch. The world seemed to pause around us. The wind died away and the sounds of clashing metal faded.

It was if a soothing aura filled the air. Cullen pulled his hands away for a moment, "Don't.." I whispered dipping my head forward. He put his hands back tentatively before massaging my muscles. The hot pain was replaced with the familiar warmth of healing. He started kneading and my muscles loosened at his touch. My Worries faded away it was just me and him.

"Maker's Breath. It's gone... every scratch..." he murmured behind me. I turned around to face him. The warmth pounding in my head making the room fuzzy.

"Magic.." I breathed softly. He nodded looking over me with hooded eyes. His hands touched my shoulders one moving to my chin pulling it up just ever so slightly. I wrapped my fingers in his cloak pulling him slowly to me. Our noses touched.. so close...

"Is something wrong?" The flaps to the tent opened suddenly as Leliana strode in.

The magic broke. The wind howled around us, the sound of clashing swords, and the very real half naked me standing there face to face with the Commander.

I jumped and screamed softly pulling up the soiled shirt to cover my front. She raised an eyebrow and Cullen began to scratch the back of his head.

"I was.. uh helping her. She popped a few stitches and uh..."

Leliana motioned for me to turn around. I did so with a blush on my cheeks, "It's gone. Good work. I shall fetch you some armor to wear. I suspect you will be ready to spar a bit. It seems we still have things to work on." She left suddenly.

I turned to Cullen and gave a soft smile, "Er... thanks... for the help." He nodded and left the tent. I sat on the bed of furs before laying back and closing my eyes. What the hell just happened?


	6. Chapter 6

I am sorry to all readers but I have officially moved all works to Archive of our own under the author name CommanderJazTez. These works will be for mature audiences. Thank you for your understanding.


End file.
